Today was a turning point…

Over the years I have believed a lot of lies and I mean a LOT of lies. Let me give you just a few, “I’m stupid, ugly, dirty, selfish, boring, insignificant, my feelings don’t matter, I’m worthless, I’m not worth God’s love/time/interest, I do not matter”. I could go on but I think you get my point. That’s a lot of lies.

When I’m in Church and I hear a sermon on being a child of God, with a crown, loved and precious, I’m there ready with my bat to get those lies as far away as possible because I have believed a lie which says I am not those things. I am not loved by God or precious to him because he doesn’t even waste his time on me. I am worthless to him.

Then today happened. 

Today I went for some prayer ministry (which this morning I really didn’t want to go to) and God showed up…big time. He gently took away the lies I have believed and has begun to replace them with truth and he started with this. “Lindsay, you are enough, stop striving, you are enough”. That’s pretty special. 

He also rebaptised me. Let me explain. During the prayer I was asked to take off the masks I have used for protection and to wait on God. As my eyes were closed I had a sense of taking the mask from my face, letting it fall from my hand and then pushing through dense bushes. On the other side was water which I gently walked into until I was fully submerged. As I came out God, the I AM, was waiting for me, waiting to embrace me and clothe me in a white robe and then we turned away from the water and walked forward. It was a beautiful image.

And now I have a choice, I can chose to hold on to the things God spoke over me today or I can pick up my old masks and pretend it didn’t happen, that God didn’t speak, that I made it all up and I’m still all of the lies. Or…or I chose to believe, to believe that I am enough and continue walking with God into the things he has in store for me. I can chose to allow myself to feel vulnerable but keep walking, to keep moving forwards, not on my own or in my own strength but by his grace.

And that is the choice I am making, I am remembering that I am small and God is big, that he goes before me. That I can trust him and that I can come to him with anything. 

And I am shouting this message because it’s not for me alone. Too many people are bound by the lies of the enemy and today, for me, I said enough!