Today is a low mood day, in truth the last couple of days have been low mood days.
There’s no particular reason other than not feeling 100% in my physical health and so my mental health seems to have taken a bit of a nose dive.
- Where you wake up and would rather not get out of bed, to be able to pull the duvet over your head and curl up in a ball and have another go at life tomorrow.
- Where you’d rather cancel things in the diary rather than dig deep and ‘get on with it’.
- Where you numb those feelings that you don’t quite understand with whatever it is that brings relief.
- Where food shopping is a bad idea because you just come back with a bag full of chocolate eclairs, doughnuts and creme eggs.
- Where you dread the school run because you just rather not speak to anyone.
- Where it’s just easier to shut up shop and hide yourself away instead of trying…
But what is it we’re trying to do?
Trying not to feel like this? Well that’s a bit pointless! Because I do currently feel like this. I can’t pretend that I don’t (although again in truth I still do try to pretend, especially in front of others) but not acknowledging our feelings doesn’t get us anywhere. It’s what we CHOOSE to do with them that matters.
So at 11.21, after a good coffee, the M&S bubbly bunny and creme egg I had on the way home from food shopping (I did say it was a bad idea to food shop!) I’m choosing to do something different with these feelings that leave me on the edge of tears. I’m looking them straight in the eye and seeing them for what they are, FEELINGS! They do not define me, they are not the sum of my being, they are simply feelings and I can choose to sink in to them, let them pull me under and envelop me or I can choose to look towards my Father in Heaven and say
This is going on at the moment, I don’t understand but I feel fragile, a bit lost and I’m hurting, can you hold me on this
I’m not saying that it’s easy to do, it’s damn hard and you know what, it may not even make anything feel better but it puts me back in alignment with God and shelters me just a little from the bombardment of my emotions and feelings.
So I’m choosing to press in and not retreat from God, and a fridge magnet has just reminded me of this
May you know that too
Blessings upon blessings xx