I think I might be racist , are you?

I haven’t written a blog post for months, to be honest lockdown has just ticked along and there hasn’t been much on my heart to write about, who really wants to hear me going on about homeschooling and overeating?!

Until the last few weeks that is. This blog post has niggled away at me for days now, I’ve tried to ignore it but it just won’t go away, it refuses to be silenced.

So I have to put pen to paper and here I sit, writing down the thoughts and feelings that twist inside and make me feel uneasy and ashamed. Things I don’t want to admit to myself let alone to you.

For me, this quote summed it up perfectly. I, like you I’m sure, have watched events unfold in America and here in the UK, I have felt anger and pain at the suffering of black people, I have tried to educated myself more on the #BLM and yet I have said nothing. I have eased my conscience by following more black men and women on twitter and Instagram but I have said NOTHING! I have not used my voice!

Because what is there for me to say? A white, middle class woman in rural Sussex. I mean come on!! But then this quote popped into my head this morning and I could avoid it no longer.

How many racist stories have I listened to in the past week where a black person has been targeted by a white person and other people have stood by and said nothing. They felt uncomfortable by a situation they knew was wrong and yet they said nothing or even worse they simply walked away.

This just isn’t good enough, in a world where we fight for equality how can this still be happening? Why are people still being discriminated against because of the colour of their skin? Why is it still ‘ok’ for racist and offensive slurs to be made against another human being? Stories of monkey noises and people being told to “go back home”. I listen to stories and hear countless accounts of racism, it’s not just a one off here or there, it’s repeated again and again. Children frightened for the safety of their parents?

And it’s not acceptable!!

Yet all the while we stay quiet and say nothing what message do we send? What is my silence saying?

Chrissy Rutherford ( BAZAAR contributing editor) said “I think if you are not Black and you are not sharing what’s going on and talking about it, to me, you’re sending a message that you agree with what is going on.”

And I most definitely do NOT again with what is going on. I hate that we live in a world where a message of ALL LIVES MATTER is being preached and yet people don’t truly believe that message, how can all lives matter if black lives matter less than white lives? I hate that we live in a world where I am treated differently based on the colour of my skin. I am less likely to be stopped by police, less likely to be followed in a store and the list goes on. You just have to watch any of the ‘check your privilege’ videos

How can all lives matter when violent protests take place and innocent lives are caught up in the middle? Like so many have already say, ALL LIVES MATTER cannot be true until BLACK LIVES MATTER is true.

So I’m not going to continue to stay silent, I not going to passively agreeing with what is going on in OUR world because I most certainly do not! I will continue to educate myself and my family more, I will look for more diversity and I will use my voice.

What are you going to do?