There I said it, I don’t trust God with our finances.
There are a lot of other areas of my life I also probably don’t trust God with but finances is the area He is high lighting today.
I don’t trust in God’s provision for my family – it’s a bit uncomfortable when you finally realise what God has been gently trying to point out isn’t it!
Today was a bit of a lightbulb 💡 day for me. For a while now I have been feeling like I should get a job.
Notice I said should!
We have 4 kids and that was totally our choice and Carl works for the Church of England (his/our choice/God’s call) but that means that money for us is tight and there are a lot of things we can’t afford to do which we would love to do.
And so instead of looking to God to provide for us I start thinking about should, what I should be doing.
I don’t look at the times where God has been faithful in his provision, whether that be the love of our Church family which enabled us to have a family holiday, or the love of family which allows our children to pursue activities they enjoy.
I worry that I should be doing more to financially support our family, because I think God isn’t doing a good enough/reliable enough job? Because I can do better than he can?
Today I was reminded that for this season God has called me to be at home for and with my children. So I can take them to school and pick them up, so I can help in Toby’s class, so I can take them to clubs (taxi anyone?) so I can cook their dinner and do bedtime with Carl.
That is what God has called me to do and be, no should but just be present. To stop thinking about what I should be doing but what I AM doing. And what I am doing and am called to do is different to what you are doing and called to do.
May God bless us all richly as we follow what he has called each of us to do and may the voice that whispers should be hushed as we are obedient to God x